The latest trial involves a needed home repair.

A few days ago, I noticed a puddle in the yard near the septic tank. Oh no. A sinking feeling in my stomach began. My husband didn’t really know what to do. I don’t know about septic systems (or electricity or plumbing, etc) and I had expected him to know more. That was most discouraging to me, that he didn’t more about what to do.

However, instead of doing my usual routine (fretting and doing internet searches on the problem and getting more and more upset when I can’t find solutions) I knelt and prayed.

As it turned out, the breaker to the pump had tripped. After resetting, all was well. It just came to my mind to check the breaker panel. I shared with my BSF Bible study on how I was learning not to fret so much, and how God had taken care of the situation. I had stopped to pray when I noticed the puddle, and tried hard not to let impatience and fear rise in my voice when trying to figure out what to do. I refrained from trying to take matters into my own hands (completing frustrating internet searches, emailing DIY forums or contractors in a frenzy) and lean on the Lord.

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I felt as though as I had taken a step forward in sanctification until yesterday. I was running the dish washer, and thought I would check the breaker panel again, just to make sure the pump switch hadn’t tripped again. (When I discovered the tripped breaker last time, I had been running both the dishwasher and the washing machine. We reasoned that maybe it was too much stress on the circuit. I am not sure now if that even makes sense — shows how little we know about circuits and electricity). Well, it was tripped again.

After resetting, my husband said he would get a replacement part for the breaker panel. But, before he could do that, I checked the panel again today, and noticed the breaker had tripped again! I wasn’t running anything either. I reset it but it keeps tripping.

Psalm 37:8 New International Version (NIV)

Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;

do not fret—it leads only to evil.

So, the issue is not resolved and I am struggling not to fall into despair.

My husband didn’t do anything about it and wanted to attend a funeral this evening but says he will call his friend who is an electrician tomorrow. We haven’t had much success in the past with his “friends” and family members helping. He has friends or family in HVAC, fencing, electricity, and roofing, yet when we’ve needed help with these issues in the past, none provided help (or if they did help, it didn’t save us any time or money. One didn’t return a call for weeks). So, I’m not relieved yet.

I’m afraid to run water or flush toilets until this is resolved. I’m going through a list of past victories, how the Lord helped with repairs in the past, how He has provided, how I was able to get through trials and find peace again. It’s not helping as it should. I can’t seem to get out of this mud of despair. I feel so weighed down.

My mom suggested calling an uncle who is handy. He wasn’t sure if I needed an electrician or septic tech. When we bought this home, we did get a one year home warranty that covers many systems and appliances. We’ve already used it once for the air conditioning. That was a blessing, though it does cost $75 for each service request.

What is more stressing is that we paid several hundred dollars getting access covers and an alarm installed for the septic system. Well, we’ve discovered the alarm is on the same breaker (not even sure if I’m using these terms correctly) as the pump, so when the breaker tripped for the pump, the alarm doesn’t work! If I hadn’t seen the puddle in the yard, we wouldn’t have known there was a problem until junk backed up into the house!

So, this electrical problem has snowballed into me mulling over past decisions, questioning past actions: This home purchase, paying extra for the alarm and access covers, questioning my marriage too, as my husband doesn’t seem to know how to handle some home repairs. This fretting is frightening, disheartening, unsettling, and extremely discouraging.

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What prompted this post was that I wanted to start documenting how I get through trials to try to bolster my faith and keep me from so much discouragement during trials. I’ll post again on what happens. For tonight, I plan to keep praying, search the Scriptures, and go to bed early. Please help, Lord.